FLAME ON!!!
Currently Listening To:Anthem from the album "Enema Of The State" by Blink 182
RIGHT THATS IT!! TIME TO RANT!!
*takes deep breath*
There's a reason why I'm currently playing Blink 182 at ridiculous volumes. Basically if you remember I wrote about this lovely house we were looking at moving into. Its a glorious farm house and everyone in the family fell in love with it.
The idea being that we move into it as a family (the 6 of us, because a certain member of my fucking famliy can't tell the fucking difference between what is family and what is family) and make it our home. Lots of assurances about it being our house and being lovely. Fucking yay
Then It became obvious a few days ago that we would be fucking sharing the house with my fucking grandparents. Yes THOSE fucking grandparents, The fucking retartded midget who made me fucking lock myself in my fucking room for 6 months whilst I was in London because I couldn't fucking escape her constant whining, bitching and moaning. I fucking hit the roof and had a lot of words for my father. In the end after a lot of discussion I didn't mind as long as my fucking grandmother was gong to stay downstairs in our house because lets face it the fucking cripple can't climb stairs and its funny.
Then today it transpires that the fucking midget went to see the house with her fucking measuring tape.. The bitch wants to move all her fucking furniture into the house!! FOR FUCKS SAKE!!! Every house of my fucking grandmothers looks the fucking same and its total shit. She has fuck all knowledge of interior decorating - as seem by the fuckloads of people who go to her flats she puts on the market and go:
"Hmm.. I'm going to have to fucking rip all this shit off the walls because its fucking lame. In fact I'd rather take a second look at one of Saddam's palaces in Iraq that just had the fuck bombed out of it because it looks better"
Who earns all the goddamn fucking money for the family? My father
Who the fuck lost $10 Million on fucking horses in the past 6 years? Who the fuck? GRANNY THE FUCK! That's who!!!
SO HOW THE FUCK DOES THE BITCH THINK SHE'S PAYING FOR THE GODDAMN HOUSE IS ALL THE FUCKING MONEY FOR ALL HER FUCKING SHIT CAME FROM MY FATHER'S HARD WORK!? FUCKS SAKE!!!!
My father is like "oh I don't like this sort of family fueding, I'm just being pragmatic" because I'm laying into the cow at the moment because I've had e-fucking-nough of her! For fucks sake Dad! I know you don't read this blog because the only fucking member of the family who reads it is my aunt. My Uncle Jeremy caught wind of the stuff I was saying about my grandmother being the fucking dotty madwoman she is though a conversation with my Aunty Jan who thought he read it and he told me to stop talking about that shit. Well my Aunt apologized profusely because she's a really nice person and I said that I didn't blame her because she didn't make my family the fucking gestapo.
All this fucking shit about not saying anything about what the family is like because the Hong Kong press would have a field day is bullshit! I COULDN'T GIVE A FUCK ALRIGHT?!
For fucks sake ever since 1997 the only person who's taken the fucking rap for one stupid fucking decision made by my fucking demented grandmother has been my father to keep my grandfather's name clean. WELL GUESS WHAT ASSHOLES? He's retired and his name now don't mean shit!!
I'm not going to be fucking censored about how fucked up that side of my family is anymore. My fucking grandparents can go fuck themselves. I've had it with protecting family assets and 'taking one for the team' by staying in the same flat as Granny because at the end of the fucking day my family, my REAL family ain't shit on the big table of priorities. Its a fucking joke, for 6 years there's been money for other things but there ain't be SHIT for us, the DIRECT FUCKING BLOOD OF THE MAIN EARNER. How can you have a father who makes $31 fucking million dollars in 5 years and not see shit of it?! I'LL TELL YOU HOW!! BY HAVING MY FUCKING INSANE GRANDMOTHER SPEND $10 MILLION ON FUCKING HORSES AND ROLLING UP THE DEBT ON HER ENGLISH PROPERTIES THATS HOW!
"So Lady Swaine, What would you like to do now that your family owes various sources about $23 million?"
"Hmm. I think I'll mortgage all my properties and buy more fucking horses"
FOR FUCKS SAKE!! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF LOGIC IS THAT? You know why that's never been dealt with?! Because my fucking grandfather is too fucking drugged up to tell his own wife to shut the fuck up and stop spending imaginary money. I had 6 fucking months of that bitch telling me her fucking woes. You know how to get out of that shit Granny? Don't fucking spend $10 million in the first fucking place dumbass!! Mortgaging your fucking properties instead of selling it to kill the debt in the first place? Why that makes you a fucking MORON.
You know what?! I just got a fucking phone call from my goddamn grandmother talking about my credit card bill!! SHE OPENED MY FUCKING MAIL!!
For fucks sake she came up with this lameass excuse "Oh I didn't notice"
BULLSHIT!
You're the fucking woman who chased up HSBC for 4 fucking weeks because your goddamn mail didn't say "lady swaine" on it. How the fuck did you not notice it was for the attention of
MR JOHN LOUIS SWAINE
That doesn't look a lot like Lady Swaine to me Fuckface!!!
FUCK THIS ALL TO HELL
And so in summary:
1) Granny you're a fucking dumbass midget
2) Dad you need to fucking stop putting your other family before your fucking children
3) Grandad you need to fucking stop popping fucking antidepressants and fucking tell your goddamn whore of a wife to shut the fuck up and stop spending your money
Fuck this
Later
John