Hello Again part 2
In addition to what I posted before I figured I'd share this little piece. I just wrote it for Kebeol.net but I figured it was kind of personal so I'd share it with you all.. Enjoy:
The Hong kong Rugby 7's just passed over the weekend.
I do enjoy the 7's. I'm a Hong Kong'er and grew up in the city and throughout my childhood all the kids at school would look forward to the event.
For those not in the know "Rugby 7's" is a game, which is effectively Rugby with 7 people on each side and played for less time. This means that it becomes a sort of "Rugby lite" which is faster and easier to get into. The Hong Kong Rugby 7's is the primary event of what is now a World 7's championship tour. Teams play all over the world (24 nations at current) and compete in Hong Kong for double the points of any of the other tour locations.
It’s a real slice of Hong Kong ex-pat culture. The best thing about Hong Kong's diverse population is that all the ex-pats have a team to support when the 7's come around. English, Shri Lankan, Australian, South African, French and a host of other nations which represent the HK ex-pat population roll into town along with the Hong Kong home team which is often cheered by those who's nation is unavailable to attend (or simply sucks at rugby).
There is a stadium in Hong Kong called (unsurprisingly) the 'Hong Kong Stadium’, which plays host to the 7’s, and its filled throughout the weekend with as many ex-pats and locals as can possibly be expected to brave the heat of an unconditioned part of Hong Kong (Although March is never particularly humid by Hong Kong comparisons). Because the games are short and there are so many of them played on each day of competition the stadium is a sea of waving banners and flags with nationals grouping together to form clusters of All Blacks, Springboks and Ozzies.
I attended last year and it was perhaps my most memorable 7's (perhaps because I actually went to the stadium with my friends instead of watching it on TV). It had been my birthday a few days ago and this time it was my good friend Jarkko's turn to celebrate. I'd managed to get a full sized 'official 7's ball' at Pacific Place (a shopping mall in central) signed by the entire Springboks team and handed it over for his present. He's a big chap with a heart of Gold and on Sevens day he presented me with tickets to go and watch (saving me from ticket scalps).
We reached the gates where we were informed that we were not allowed to bring any alcohol into the stadium (as it would be provided in vast quantities inside) so we had no choice but to down the entirety of the stash we various Shatin College'rs had brought along. Jarkko happily obliged, as did I with the rest of the Sixth Form.
Jarkko is Finnish and as such built like the factory which makes brick sh**houses. He's passionate about Rugby and hence is never to be held back from a 7's. He shares the curious trait held by all Finnish people of somehow having contained within his being, a herding instinct. It is not normally evident but it is triggered by the consumption of copious amounts of alcohol. Within minutes, no matter how large or densely packed a crowd, all the finish people will have drifted together and formed a mass cluster of drunken Scandinavians, some will find friends they hadn't seen for years who had just come to Hong Kong for the weekend. Its quite a remarkable thing to watch
We got inside and sat en masse, in the infamous "South Stand" (where all the people who get, shall we say, really enthusiastic about the rugby (and indeed the beer) sit. The smiling Finn dropped his massive frame onto the plastic green chair to my right and poured me a huge card beaker of Heineken (the official beer of the Rugby 7's and sold in massive pitchers). As I started on the 1.5 pint he began to explain the subtleties of his drunkenness. I discerned from him thusly the entire catalogue of Finnish alcohol-induced behavior:
1) After having drunk a considerable amount the Finn will begin to engage in the aforementioned 'herding action'. He will begin to sing pop songs with the words in Finnish. A normal man will at this point be legless, average people consider this level of alcohol consumption; 'time to go home'.
2) After imbibing more alcohol than George Best the Finnish man or woman will indulge all around him or her in a collection of Christmas carols, sung entirely in Finnish. Our control test 'average man' will be requiring urgent medical assistance. Probably resulting in a stomach pump and at least a few months of therapy after he gets the photos from the night before developed.
3) Finnish blood/alcohol level will now be easier measured as a ration of alcohol/blood. The individual will now, at decent volume, sing the Finnish national anthem with his the rest of his collective. Normal man will be either dead or standing in line to claim Finnish citizenship.
Having mentally jotted down my notes I noticed my fellow 7's goers in the south stand were all getting to their feet. I rose and scanned the pitch for the queen, head of state or anthem for which we were upstanding. Then they began to sing and gesture to the upper left of the stand and it all became clear:
"STAND UP! IF YOU HATE THE FRENCH!
STAND UP! IF YOU HATE THE FRENCH!
STAND UP! IF YOU HATE THE FRENCH!
STAND UP! IF YOU HATE THE FRENCH!"
The ditty was sung to "Go West" and accompanied by exaggerated and eager pointing at the sizable group of 'frenchies', draped in Tricolors and singing the French national anthem in a proud (but slightly futile) attempt to counter the alternative anthem offered by the other 7's fans.
We were getting into the last line of the chorus when someone began to point and sing at someone else to the tune of English Footballs seminal "You're not singing anymore":
"WHO'S THE WANKER ON THE PHONE? WHO'S THE WAAAANKER ON THE PHONE?"
We all turned to point at the cell phone user who laughed whilst making an earnest attempt to carry on his conversation. The chorus was too loud so he was forced to put the phone down. (Thankfully all the heckling is a good laugh for all concerned and never malicious)
Jarkko moved off to go and greet some more Shatin Colleger's who had just arrived and the seat was promptly filled with Kyle an Australian year 11 from my younger sister's class who I fondly refer to as "World's Tallest Biggot" he's about 7 foot, ginger and a biggot (simple enough eh?). He quickly refilled the beaker I had just drunk and then worked out who I was. What was terrific was the fact that he had just sat down and filled up the beaker of a complete stranger in true Australian spirit. He managed to say ‘hi’ before he was distracted by someone shouting "Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy!" To which all Australian nationals are obliged to answer "Oi Oi Oi!" This is repeated 3 times over and generally punctuated by much pint-downing.
The Rugby had begun with England giving their first opponents a thorough ass-kicking. The next game featured the tounament's official whipping boys - Shri Lanka. Supported by two of our Shatin College number they received such an absolute walloping that you have to admire their attendance each year.
Another great thing about the sevens is that it allows teams with no other sporting ability or prowess the chance to compete at a decent level. Take Fiji and Samoa - long time big-boys of the 7's and both almost completely absent from the international scene in other sports.
I was busy at this point finishing my 2nd beaker (3rd pint after all the refills) of Heineken. We decided that since there weren't any more games we really wanted to watch we'd head out for a night in Kowloon before the mass rush. Jarkko was signing "Happy Birthday" in Finnish and an equally inebriated Georgie (his current squeeze) was hoisted into our taxi before falling asleep in that remarkably weighty manner that the truly pissed manage, their body weight spontaneously doubling as if they were some sort of sponge which had taken on lots of liquid. The evening was moving in and as we left I really got the sense that I'd be missing the 7's quite a bit whilst in London.
Sure enough this year the 7's have come and gone. Once again England are champions and despite the SARS (or the "You're F****d Matey" Virus as I like to call it) it was a massive tournament with all the atmosphere (from what I hear) that it normally summons. It was a shame that I missed it but perhaps it was the people I would have been watching it with that I missed the most. Not only the Shatin College Sixth Formers who are arguably the nicest people I ever had the pleasure of sharing an education with (we meet up as often as possible on times like New Years) but also all those other people who filled up the stadium who represented the truly international nature of Hong Kong and the desire to have fun no matter what the cost.
Right now there's a lot of gloom about Hong Kong and its future. Admittedly the Government is inept and Mainland China sucks but I really can't write off the city. Talk to me about it the year the 7's is cancelled and I might be more appreciative of any doomsday prophecies :)
Posted by John Swaine at April 3, 2003 10:27 PM