Hong Kong eh? Thats in Japan right?
This is another comic strip script but I'm not going to be able to launch the comic till I have a reliable scanner source (Scanner stays in Rowhedge) so I'll tell you all about this incident anyway:
The card I hold is mandatory amongst all Hong Kong residents
It controls everything from taxes, to phone bills to registrations to virtually every bank or service
About 350 people are pulled up by the police each day for not having it on their person
It can get you through the most stringent Immigration Department in the world..
but it can't let you buy a pint of lager at a family pub!!
This is basically about what I did today. I managed to meet up with Richard and Sean Andrews for a quiet drink in the playhouse a pub in Colchester. Anyhow we go there and the guy at the bar said "Can I see your ID". "Sure" say I and pull out my plethora of ID cards:
1) My London Metropolitan University Student Card
2) My National Union of Students Card
3) My London Transport Student Card
4) My Credit Card (You have to be 18 to be eligible - to enter into a binding contract)
NONE of these pass!!!! The guy decides he's not going to serve on ANY of those IRREFUTABLE claims to be over 18!!! "So its time to pull out the big-guns", I thought:
5) My Hong Kong Identity Card
As was mentioned above this card is fool-proof and the strictest system in the world..
"Nah sorry"
Ok lets remove the fact that I'm 6 foot Frikking 2.5 inches!! And the fact that I have just presented him with irrefutable proof that I'm in university. This man has just refused to acknowledge a Government Issue ID Card!
So what can I use to drink at the playhouse?
"A driving License or a Passport"
Goddammit!! What if I don't want to drive (as I don't at the moment - no need)? Will you decide not to accept my Passport!!??! It is Italian after all!!
He gets that looks that stupid English people get when they are being skeptical about something the "ooo.. Dunno about that" look and says:
"well.. Maybe.. Probably not though.. you have to be difficult don't you"
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!
At this point my mate Richard, who is almost 10 inches shorter than me and is being served asks if I can sit with my mates...
"Yes" Replies the barman "as long as you sit in the family section as children aren't allowed near the bar"
CHILDREN!!??!?!? HOW MANY 10 YEAR OLDS DO YOU KNOW WHO ARE 6'2" TALL!?
What? Was I supposed to order from their Tom and Jerry™ Kids menu?!? For the love of God!! How stupid, stubborn and ignorant can one man be!?
I wish I had like a little stamp which stamped "Idiot" in an unwashable chemical on people's foreheads, which could only be seen under UV light.. Then an underground collective of us would be able to tell if people were thick as 2 short planks..
"This part goes here... I think.. Should it really look like a rabbit? I thought this was a desk"
Before the playhouse incident I went into Colchester to help out with the work done on a new clothes store being opened by a family friend who asked my mother to help manage it. Anyhow we were building one of those Flat-Pack desks. Now I have only really had good experiences of Flat-Pack because I have always bought Ikea desks and stuff which was Flat-Pack and that went together really easily. At the end of it we were saying stuff like "Right.. Connect non-descript blob of wood 19 to misshapen piece 30". Richard and Andrews had finished their college stuff and decided to come and help and we managed to complete it in about an hour. Overall it took about 5 hours.. The box said 1 hour 15. I would feel inadequate but as the famous impotence adage goes; "Don't worry it happens to every man at some time in their life" haha!
Right.. I need some tea
Later folks!!
John
Posted by John Swaine at January 27, 2003 09:16 PM