It’s the 1st of December (or at least it was when I started writing this).
It’s my father’s Birthday and so the ritual ‘Christmas Watershed’ around our house arrives at midnight tonight.
This means that there is now a green light for Christmas songs to be sung around the house, played on pianos and clarinets and generally embraced in a way that is strictly prohibited from December 26th onwards (by family law).
So as the festive season swings into gear allow me to share some of my Christmas traditions, from the eccentric to the classical:
1) Decorating the Computer
I don’t mean tinsel around the monitor and keyboard (although that sounds fun now that I think about it) but there’s a ritual of sorts which must be followed to transform my computer into a ‘Christmas Mac’:
However, since Hertzfeld is now my computer (Dual 2ghz G5, 2.5gig RAM) the Snö really isn’t bothering it. I’ve never seen it this smooth and the effect is rather beautiful.
2) Deciding on a Presents Theme
Ok this perhaps isn’t so weird but I tend to try and pick a theme around which to base everyone’s presents, often this gets in the way of my love of picking out gifts that suit people perfectly so I’ll end up ditching it. One year everyone got books (which made me Mr Popular with my siblings *cough*). Last year almost everyone received HomestarRunner.com merchandise. This year I may forgo the theme as it tends to be a little hit and miss.
3) The Christmas Scheme
The Christmas Scheme is a new tradition.
It all began as just another skirmish in the prank war my youngest sister and I had been fighting for a few months.
I had been laying the foundations for weeks beforehand. Dropping hints that I wouldn’t be able to buy people good gifts for Christmas this year as I wasn’t too solvent (which she accepted stoically). Joking that I’d have to buy people breakfast cereal and toilet paper instead. She had looked over my shoulder at ‘Marzipan’ and ‘Teen Girl Squad’ T-Shirts as I had been surreptitiously surfing to pick out people’s gifts from Homestarrunner.com and I’d moaned loudly that I wished I had the money to buy them. It was accepted wisdom amongst the two little’uns that I’d not be putting on my standard big-bro present-platter.
Then, the evening before we left to drive to our aunts (where we’d be spending Christmas), I brought out an old cereal box that I’d been saving for the occasion, wrapped the T-Shirts she’d wanted in tissue paper and stuffed them inside. I included a small tin-foil package with a few grains of rice that rattled convincingly when shaken and wrapped the whole thing up with the flair that all good presents deserve. On the tag I wrote “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get you what you wanted - but here’s a Healthy way to Start the Day!”
Christmas morning was glorious. The expectation on her face, the crestfallen look, then the despair as a box of supermarket-brand cornflakes revealed itself beneath hastily torn wrapping paper.
“Pour yourself a bowl!” I exhorted, barely concealing my grin.
The T-Shirts fell out and as Francesca began to pummel me, furious at the brilliance of my malign scheme. I laughed myself breathless even as I received the beating - hooting as I guzzled the sweet syrup of my revenge.
This year, I’m cooking up something equally devious. I’ll keep you posted on it, at least in as much as I can without spoiling the prank.
4) Playing Snowcraft
I believe I’ve mentioned before my belief that it’s not Christmas until I’ve played Snowcraft through once and beaten every level. I discussed the flash game in question in that blog post from a few years back so I’ll just paste the relevant paragraphs here:
I first encountered this lovable little flash game in late 2000 and it provided me a whole load of fun as I honed my skills of winter combat, my plucky Red jacketed crew bravely facing down the Green shirted thugs from around the neighborhood, pelting the little stinkers with heavily charged snowballs and avenging their fallen comrades.
In order to beat Snowcraft (and I suggest you go and play it right after finishing this article) you have to duck and dodge out of the hail of fire. I normally fight by starting the game in a mad rush to get all my guys into the safety of the bottom left hand side of the screen (“ ‘Ave it Greenies! Your diagonal trajectory cannot reach us here!”) and then take one member on a pelting mission, slipping in and out of the range of fire squeezing of a hail of snowballs at point-blank range. This technique has been developed over years of play and all other methods were exhausted first (including the “ARTILLERY!!” style long distance lobbing which can’t save you forever). Even using my ‘commando’ techniques it still takes about 6 games before I’m back on ‘top form’.
The game is an absolute corker, it was the best flash game I’d ever played when I found it and nothing has come since to take its crown. I only wish there was a sequel :)
I can honestly say that the sentiments ring true today. I’m going to be 30 and still playing Snowcraft every christmas. Even more disturbingly that’s only 9 years away - weird.
5) Watching the HomestarRunner.com Holiday Toons
Jeez, how many times am I going to end up linking to HomestarRunner.com this post?
Anyhow, it needs to be said. The Brothers Chaps have created some of their best work to mark Christmas and whilst I have to wait till Christmas day (or a few hours after it if the Brothers are behind schedule and working as furiously as they can) to watch the most recent installment, all their past catalogue still serves very well if you’re looking for a festive chuckle. The Toons section houses all their flash work and if you select “Holiday” you can easily navigate to the Christmas flash cartoons.
It’s just not Christmas without Strong Bad singing “Oh Holy Crap!” (in the place of “Oh Holy Night”)
6) Making Mincemeat
OK for all the Americans who read this blog, if you haven’t already been told, Mincemeat is not in fact minced meat. It’s an old English pie-filler made from rasins, ginger, nuts and copious amounts of alcohol. It used to be minced meat but that was in medieval times and was a result of the practice of spicing meat with apples, ginger, pears and the like (hence, the ‘sweet-meats’ of the time), over time it became the meat-free delight we enjoy today.
My family uses an old recipe handed down from my Great Grandmother and I have to say I am blessed, for the past 3 generations there has been but one relative from each with the requisite cooking skill and I have a direct path of descent through all of them, if this was not the case I’d have to deal with store-bought mince pies which are a whole other beast (and taste about as nice as minced meat pies).
Making the mincemeat involves a lengthy process of stirring. Each of the family takes it in turns to mix the mincemeat with a long wooden spoon. As you stir it you’re supposed to make a wish. I’d say my wish record stands at about 16/18 which is pretty respectable.
The end result is so ridiculously delicious that one year we had an American staying with us for Christmas and she would creep downstairs in the middle of the night to eat it from the jars - not even needing my sister’s glorious pastry to enjoy the stuff.
7) The Presepio or Nativity Scene
I only learned a few years ago that this was an Italian tradition, I had always assumed it was a common practice or at the very least one simply unique to Catholics. We set up a nativity scene (I’d link to the Italian sites but they are shockingly bad), from models constructed explicitly for the purpose - a stable complete with manger, Mary and Joseph, a selection of cattle, shepherds, sheep and the three kings.
At the beginning of advent the stable is filled only with Mary, Joseph and the cattle, the manger is empty, the shepherds stand away from the scene and the kings even further.
On Christmas, Jesus is placed in his manger and the shepherds take their place in and around the stable.
Finally on the day of Epiphany the kings arrive at the stable.
The significance is obvious but it’s really a good focus of the celebration from a Christian perspective and it makes the whole sequence of events easier to explain to children. My Nonno traditionally takes the task of preparing our presepio upon himself as he generally manages to make an visit around Christmas time. If he arrives after it has been set up, he dutifully nudges it into a composition that is more pleasing to his uniquely qualified sensitivities.
8) The Snowman on the Christmas Tree
The Snowman on the Christmas Tree is unique in this list insofar as it’s a Christmas tradition that comes from my father’s side of the family, or more accurately from my father. Christmas is not highly celebrated amongst the Swaines (at least no one puts the same amount of effort in as my mother each year, they can contest it all they want but I’m a witness to that fact, sorry guys) but my father always used to put the last decoration on the tree. Instead of a fairy or a star we had a snowman, placed on top of the tree by my lofty father (with whom I am now even in height). This is the tradition I miss the most, I long to sit cross legged, looking up at my dad’s seemingly-incredible stature as he places Mr Snowman in the topmost boughs of our tree - a place I can barely see let alone reach. Call it nostalgia, call it a longing for the family christmases I loved so much - I still feel sad when I have to reach up and set the snowman on his branch rather than simply fish him out of the decorations boxes and hand him to my dad.
9) The Christmas Breakfast
Bill Bryson remarked that Americans have intelligently spread out the major holidays: They have the Eating Holiday (Thanksgiving), the Gift-Giving Holiday (Christmas) and the Drinking Holiday (New Year’s). The English make Christmas an orgy of gluttony, gift swapping and boozing and whilst I remain largely sober throughout the day, the eating is always important.
In the morning, we open our stockings (those of us young enough to still get stockings) and then head downstairs all wearing our flannel tartan pyjamas. We sit down to enjoy a Christmas breakfast. Fresh Coffee, Eggs, Croissants, Crumpets and of course Pandoro. I believe my mixed ancestry has led to an extra-enjoyable Christmas experience and a lot of that is down to the food: the English side contributes a Turkey (although that’s more American in place of the traditional English goose which has fallen out of favour), mince pies and the massively alcoholic, fattening and quite simply glorious Christmas Pudding and the Italian side contributes Pandoro and Panettone - two bready Christmas baked goods - one sweet served with dusted icing sugger and the other filled with fruits and raisin chunks.
I believe it is testament to the delicious versatility of Pandoro that I can honestly say the scales are balanced between English and Italian Christmas food. Get a good one from a good Italian name if you intend to try it out this Christmas. Eaten with family and a mug or bowl of Cafe Latte it can really give Christmas day a great start.
10) Gingerbread Latte
If you’ve read my blog for any amount of time you don’t even need to read this passage. Christmas. In a cup. Nuff said.
There’s more to Christmas than just these traditions. The point is, they’re traditions that really speak to me and I think help define what Christmas means to me as a person. At some point I hope to have settled down and raised a family of my own and I hope I’ll have the good sense to look back on this post and remember what made Christmas so special for me so I can provide it for my family.
However, #11 is the most important one and the one I’ll end with:
11) Midnight Mass
This is what makes Christmas for me. This is my favourite moment of the year. In the right church, with the right people it’s the most special moment imaginable. Perhaps it’s the the slight buzz of excitement at the promise of tomorrow’s festivities mixed with the crisp air and the smell of incense or perhaps it’s because at no other time of the year do you feel quite so much joy, celebration and love all in a single church - even one as wonderful as our current parish.
As a Christian and as a Catholic, Midnight Mass really makes me feel joyful for my faith - I give thanks every week in church but I can’t describe the elation and the sheer jubilance that Midnight Mass inspires. I guess if you’re an atheist this doesn’t make much sense but for me, this is what it’s all about.
“And when they saw the star they rejoiced with exceeding great joy” - Matthew 2:10
Later
John
Posted by John Swaine at December 1, 2005 12:13 PM